I just read back over my most recent blog post and don’t even remember writing it and posting it. My friend calls this “anesthesia brain.”
I’m almost one month out from my back surgery and honestly, while I’ve made great improvements, I have moments of feeling like I have hit a plateau in my recovery. I suspect this is normal.
I am no longer taking muscle relaxers for the awful leg cramps I initially had in my right leg and foot. I am also taking less pain medications and now only over-the-counter ones. My steri-strips have fallen off the incision and the rash that the steri-strips caused has gone away. I am using a heating pad in the mornings for the discomfort in my right calf, but the pain is tolerable.
Some feeling has returned to my right foot but not enough for me to walk without my cane and definitely not enough to drive a car, which I haven’t been released by the doctor to do anyway. (For at least 6 weeks after this back surgery, I am not supposed to lift anything over 5 pounds, or bend or twist.) You never think about how much bending, twisting or lifting you do each day until someone tells you that you can’t do it!
I have had a few people tell me that I am standing up straighter than I have stood in years! (Hey, maybe I’ve even regained an inch…)
The reason why I feel like I have hit a plateau in my recovery is mostly because I’m anxious about regaining the full use of my right foot. I admitted to Professorgrrl the other night that this particular problem makes me feel very vulnerable, more vulnerable than I’ve ever felt before. (Well, except for maybe a colonoscopy…that’s pretty vulnerable…)
Not that I was ever a kick boxer, soccer player or anything like that but I am a musician and a I can’t even tap that right foot. Admittedly, though, I am primarily a left foot tapper but still…
Seriously, though, I told her that I felt like I would not even be able to quickly step back to the curb if a car suddenly came out of nowhere. We had just been to the mall for a mall walk and if you live in the U.S., then y’all know how crazy people drive in the mall parking lots. We had also gone to the grocery store and this particular grocery store parking lot is SCARY for even able-bodied people. (Shout out to the Cloverdale Harris Teeter!) I know that there are people who navigate through life like this every day and it has opened up my eyes as to how scary the prospect of just going somewhere can be for someone who has a disability. Do they get used to it after awhile? I need to ask my mother about this as she has been using a cane for several years. I think she must be very brave and way more adventurous than I am. I am inclined to stay at home. The fear of falling is less.
Speaking of canes, though, Professorgrrl bought me an ergonomic cane specifically for my left hand. It’s an extra short one, too, adjustable to the height I need. She says she bought it on Amazon, if any of my fellow XLH-ers are curious. I have quite the collection of canes and walking sticks now, in addition to other tools that I bought for my recovery, as recommended by the PT at the hospital…grabbers, picker-uppers, an extra long shoe horn in a happy shade of yellow and a contraption for putting on socks. I’m ready for a knee replacement or hip replacement when that day comes. It’s an investment into my future.
In my immediate future, however, I need to get ready for a visit from my sister today. Yay! She is fun and funny and we’ll have a great time and the day will go by too fast, I’m sure. I plan to take her out to eat tonight at a restaurant that serves THE best hamburgers, according to my hamburger-eating friends. I don’t eat hamburgers so I have to rely on their recommendations. My sister loves hamburgers and will insist, as she should, that her husband makes the best hamburgers, in the cast iron panini pan that I gave them, but she will at least get a taste of the second-best hamburger tonight.
Time to polish up my cane for a night out on the town.
Copyright 2019, S.G. Hunter and Banjogrrldiaries
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